I Am Realising

...that there are always opportunities for new insights and personal growth - always and all ways. Over recent weeks, you see, I've been experiencing a curious feeling of inner doubt. This has been most peculiar because, to all intents and purposes, I've successfully overcome some of the most enormous personal and physical challenges over the past couple of years. Of that there is no doubt whatsoever. So how come, then, with all these 'proven successes' behind me, how come I am experiencing moments of uncertainty? Sometimes relatively minor, sometimes more concerning. So what's that all about then...?

I've been pondering that question and (as you might expect) exploring and observing the emotions as they come up. And it's been weird. Sometimes it has felt as if I'm in danger of slipping out of my mind - so, therefore, 'out of my mind' I chose to go in order to find the answers. And here's what I've noticed - as I've realised what's happening with real-eyes.

By just thinking about what is going on, I have been only working on the one level - the level that uses past experiences to make sense of a situation. Experiences that confirm this specific feeling of uncertainty has typically been linked with periods of challenge or discomfort - particularly over the past couple of years. Which is why I couldn't make sense of it all - because the war is over. So what is there now to be worried about for goodness sake? Round and round I went, bumping in to the same walls time and time again, and increasing my own frustration.

So instead I decided to simply go with the feelings - without thinking about what they might mean. The next time I noticed the stirrings of self-doubt, I simply went with the feeling. I became curious about where in my body I was sensing the feeling - what was the shape? What was the colour? How fast was it moving? And as I directed my mind to simply observe the sensations - without judgement or labels - I could calmly and gently start to move the feelings... and change my experience in the process.

It's an old NLP trick that I learned many many years ago and it can work for a variety of situations. It's all about making sense of something that doesn't make sense. It's about moving out of your mind and moving in to your feelings instead. Simple. And yet sometimes so easy to forget! (There's an example exercise at the end of this post that you can experiment with if you're interested)

So - here's what I learned. I decided to re-label the sensations I had been calling 'self-doubt' as simply 'off-balance' instead. And off-balance means progress. Think about it. In order to walk, just putting one foot in front of the other, we are 'off-balance' at least 50% of the time. Moving in a forward motion, yes, and also throwing ourselves from being grounded (and static) to being unbalanced (and moving) then grounded again (a step forward from where we were when we started).

Now, I have realised, these sensations are simply an indication that I'm on the move. That I'm growing. I've realised that there are new experiences and insights calling for my attention - new opportunities that are positive, rather than new hurdles to be overcome. I am no longer bashing in to the same old walls of past experiences - nope, not any more. Now I'm opening doors and windows and letting myself explore whatever is yet to come. Yes, I can still experience the quickening heartbeat, the sweating palms, and the little voices in my head. But now, now that I'm welcoming these feelings of uncertainty as confirmation that I'm learning (well, let's face it, anything 'new' can feel odd and scary can't it?) then the fear that was associated with those experiences has been magically transformed in to excitement.

Incidentally - it's a well-documented fact that the physical sensation of fear is the same as the physical sensation of excitement. It just depends what label we choose to give it - I don't know about you, but I'm choosing the latter!

Here's an example exercise for those of you who are interested in experimenting with this 'trick'...

Take your attention to a place inside your body where, for example, you feel calmness. You can choose other feelings if you like - good, bright or peaceful could be some other options. Just make sure it's something positive that you decide to focus on! Search it out and you will find it. And if you can't find it, then just imagine that you can. You will quickly be able to identify where it is (even if it's a guess), and you may well discover an associated shape, colour or sound that goes with it. It may be quite small, or it may be quite large, feint or clear, loud or quiet - and that's ok. There's no right or wrong here, it's just about becoming aware - that's all.

So... having identified that particular positive sensation, gently grow it until it fills your entire body. Breathe a bit more deeply as you do this, and notice what happens for you. It may help if you close your eyes while you do this... it may not... again, it's up to you. Once you've done that, grow it even more - and if you can't... yup... you've got it... just imaginethat you can. Grow it to fill your surroundings - as far as your eyes can see. Keep breathing and noticing, and then grow it even more. Imagine it is filling the entire town that you're in. And then imagine it filling the whole country. Then take it even wider, stronger, louder (whatever works for you) and make it grow until it envelops the entire world... and then the universe... and beyond.

Breathe deeply and enjoy the experience - it's all yours to keep. Feels good eh?

This continues to be a really useful technique for me - I can use it to regain composure if I'm worried about something, and I can use exactly the same technique to give myself a boost if I'm feeling tired or low. Whatever feeling you'd like to have more of - don't think about it, just do it! You know the acronym JFDI? Well, that's what I'm saying - just like me, stop thinking and Just F***ing Do It :-)